Your voice feels close but your face feels far away.
I hear the message, but not the heart behind it.
It reminds me of a long distance love letter.
I have no doubt of what you are saying to me,
But how you look upon me, I cannot recall.
You feel like a voiceless message, from an unknown number.
People discuss you, and I agree with what they say.
Some even pass on messages,
But I wonder why you can’t just tell me yourself.
I wait, and am told that when I wait, you will come.
You have felt disappointing for a long season.
But you have told me that you will draw near.
Your Word is true. So I will wait.
Draw near to me and I will draw near to you.
Welcome in ‘new season of frustration’
I am drawing near, do you even see me?
There seems like a gap, something I am missing.
Your word says one thing, I experience another.
I am here, where are you?
I don’t feel you, I don’t see you.
You don’t feel close and your voice seems almost silent.
What your Word says is truth.
My circumstance is not my reality.
But rather, it is the unfailing voice of God.
Your promises are my reality.
You do not dwell apart from me, external to me.
You are not far off or distracted.
Your home is within my very being.
You are closer than the very oxygen I breathe.
I physically cannot be separated from you.
I need only stop, be quiet, and listen.
I can’t always hear your voice for I am so busy,
internally busy, working to get to you.
But when I rest…
I hear you.
I used to wait for the big booming voice of heaven,
And always result in a slump of disappointment.
But now, I hear you differently.
When I stop, and seek your face,
I hear you in the warmth of the sun on my back.
I hear you in the colour of the bluest winter sky.
When I stop looking for something to happen,
I hear you in everything that’s happening.
I simply seek your face in everything I see.
You sound different to the expectation I had.
But in a manner that is always present.
Just an exhale of my breath away.
Your voice is always good.
The more I hear you, the more I recognise you.
You speak only good things over me.
Call to Him and He will answer you.
Whoever is of God, hears the voice of God.
He dwells in you and will be in you.
As a sheep, you will hear your Shepherds voice.
All scripture is breathed out by Him.
He will tell you great and hidden things.
Then a voice came from heaven saying,
You are my child, who I’m love, with you I am well pleased.
Kirsty McNee, a C3 College 2nd Year Leadership and Ministry student, craving for God to Spêak.